Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize