we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
