Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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