He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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