She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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