im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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