So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
