im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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