yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
