Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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