So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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