i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You're like the curious george of whores
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
