Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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