i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
