Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
