Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
