Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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