i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
