Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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