I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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