Plan B is the new Plan A
You can't motorboat a personality
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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