Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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