He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
