No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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