I hate your face
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
