he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
