You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
