I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
