wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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