At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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