you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
