3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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