Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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