so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
