I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
