I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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