so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this boner is exhausting
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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