it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
