I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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