Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I need moral support for this bender
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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