I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
