dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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