is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
