You're my little dorito
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
