okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
