Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
