im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
