I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
