i would punch a child for taco bell
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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