Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
