My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
