I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
