I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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