She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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