Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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