I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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