Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
