So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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