Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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