do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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