i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He passed out mid-signature
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize