i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize