I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
