STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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