I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize