So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
