I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
