I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We were destined to go to rehab together
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
