Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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